Meet Aislyn and Marie. Two best friends offering real-life, humorous takes on everything from America to Zoloft, all while raising questions and raising babies. Sink your teeth into these mouthwatering morsels of insight, of wisdom and of life experience, uncensored.

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Monday, February 23, 2009


When Aislyn comes back to Pittburgh for a visit, we never fail to patronize this cute little card shop in Squirrell Hill called "Kards Unlimited." But don't get it twisted - this ain't no Hallmark, people. This card shop has it all... from funny t-shirts and delicious smelling candles; to humorous cards, books of all genres and stationery galore.

It's no secret... we loves us some novelty gear.

Here are some links I found to stationery companies who distribute their cards to our favorite card shop. Let the hilarity ensue!:

Shannon Martin Cards

Seltzer Cards

Selfish Kitty

Mik Wright

Hipster Cards

Hatemail Cards

Monday, February 16, 2009


I'm 28 years old.

I weigh anywhere between 105 and 110 pounds.

And just yesterday, I spotted something on my back, upper thigh: two inch long, dark purple, spider veins.

Blame genetics, my desk job, or my poor circulation - either way, it's there and it's there for good. Unless, of course, I can get an appointment at the local cosmetic laser center...

So, what's in the future for my veins? Will the spider get bigger? Will spider's unsightly, buldging cousin, Vericose, grace these gams in 2040?

The world may never know.

But for now, there's no denying that age is upon me.

It first began with, "Would you like fries with that, ma'am?"
Now, it's hopelessly flawed stems.
I just can't win.

My mother said it best...

"Today, support hose. Tomorrow, your boobs hit the floor."

Tuesday, February 10, 2009


Just because we're in the middle of a recession, doesn't mean we can't make our bachelorette (or married) pads look fresh, right?  


Enter Brylane Home.  

My mom's been getting this catalog for years, but I didn't realize just how spectacular this online/mail order store was until I went huntin' for some window treatments last week. 

Brylane has awesome gear for your home at affordable prices, plus their clearance deals are pretty freakin' incredible. 

I just got a new swag for my dining room and it is fantastic.  They have colors that you can't find anywhere else.  And they totally beat JC Penny's prices. 

Check them out by clicking the logo below!:  


To me, there is nothing more unattractive than too much... whether it be showing too much skin, wearing too much makeup, or simply running too much at the mouth.  

One woman in particular has managed to accomplish all 3 over the past two decades... and has made quite a career out of doing so.  But now, it's 2009 and she's beginning to look more than a little strange to everyone, including those who were once diehard fans (for the record, that was never me).

Madonna is now 50 years old.  Truth be told, when I think of a 50 year old woman, I think of Oprah, my mom, my friend's moms and so on.  It's not that I don't view these ladies as sexy or beautiful... I absolutely do... I just see them as a little more "under the radar" with it, and that's what makes them so wonderful.  They're not in-your-face about how hot they are - they just kind of have that quiet confidence; that "something special" just beneath the surface.

If you've been keeping up with the blogs, you've probably have heard about Madonna's quickie divorce from her husband of 8 or 9 years, Guy Ritchie. Now, she's making out in the March issue of W Magazine with her new rumored boy-toy Jesus Luz. Jesus' mother is 3 years younger than Madonna.  And, yes, he is just as you'd expect - painfully attractive... and 22. 

I just can't seem to fathom why a recently divorced, 50-year-old mother of 3, would do something quite so insensitive to her children.
(No one is naked, but you probably won't want to click on this link if you're at work)

This same song and dance was disturbing back in the 80s when she was childless and unmarried... but now, I mean, it's just flat out cruel to the little ones who look up to her... especially her pre-teen daughter, Lourdes.  

Had my mother never been divorced, perhaps I would be in no position to judge.  But she was single for nearly 10 years before she met my stepfather.  And she never - and I mean NEVER - brought guys over to the house, hung all over them or showed any sort of sexual neediness at all around me.  I mean, as far as I was concerned, my mom was just a really cool lady who loved me a lot and made me clean my room - not some vampish, slutty sexpot.  If my mom did go out, she'd reserve her "date nights" for nights when I was with my father.  She kept her personal life and our home life very much separate. 

I think this is why it is oh-so-disturbing to me to see Madonna, a woman who clearly lacks any respect for herself and the feelings and well being of her children, to be rolling around in bed with a half-naked man-child for a bit of advertising money.  This woman is a billionaire. Aside from adopting children from 3rd world countries, why couldn't she do something a bit more constructive with her time other than whoring herself out for publicity?  She looks desperate... not to mention completely and utterly pathetic. 

Madonna, your shtick was "edgy" and "controversial" back in 1987... but it's time to grow up now and act like a lady.  That means putting your damn clothes back on, taking responsibility and actually being a role model to your kids for once. 

You owe it to them. 

And to us!:

Ugly Madonna Pictures, Images and Photos