Meet Aislyn and Marie. Two best friends offering real-life, humorous takes on everything from America to Zoloft, all while raising questions and raising babies. Sink your teeth into these mouthwatering morsels of insight, of wisdom and of life experience, uncensored.
"Pain is inevitable, suffering is optional and happines is an inside job."
There are a lot of changes going on in my life right now, which I'm not ready to openly discuss on here. A chapter in my life is closing and another is opening and I am comfortable with it. I have reached a point in my life where no matter what obstacle is put infront of me, I can look at it and know that I will walk through it and come out the other side better than before.
That is the beauty of being comfortable with myself, loving myself and not relying on anyone or anything to "make" me happy. I have all the tools I need inside me and have no need to go searching for it.
...so I'm a friggin' loser. I haven't posted anything in a really long time and there is no excuse for it. I have been to Pittsburgh and back, dropped an anatomy class and have planned my next trip back to Pittsburgh.
I went home to PA to visit my grandmother who is extremely ill. I had to say goodbye...like the real "goodbye", which was right up there on the list of being the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I got to hang with Marie, watch Reagan bitch-slap Marie, poop in her tub, piss on her floor and pretty much drive her nuts watching the Muppet Show over and over again. A little break in the sadness of the whole trip was most excellent.
Then...I came home, gave the big 'ol middle finger to my anatomy class and felt much better about life. No dissection of cats, no more pervy professor, just me and English now. I like the English teacher...she's a grammar Nazi. I am not so good with punctuation and what not, I write like I talk, but I'm not famous yet so I guess I have to abide by her semi-colon rules.
Really life has been uneventful, which is OK with me sometimes. I try to avoid the chaos; don't need it. So...that's all for now. We are getting into tourist season here on the island. A tell tale sign is seeing people drive North in the Southbound lane and vice-versa. It's really fun to watch.
Well, that's all for now. I'll try to be a better blogger. Sorry to have been such a slacker.
When Aislyn comes back to Pittburgh for a visit, we never fail to patronize this cute little card shop in Squirrell Hill called "Kards Unlimited." But don't get it twisted - this ain't no Hallmark, people. This card shop has it all... from funny t-shirts and delicious smelling candles; to humorous cards, books of all genres and stationery galore.
It's no secret... we loves us some novelty gear.
Here are some links I found to stationery companies who distribute their cards to our favorite card shop. Let the hilarity ensue!:
To me, there is nothing more unattractive than too much... whether it be showing too much skin, wearing too much makeup, or simply running too much at the mouth.
One woman in particular has managed to accomplish all 3 over the past two decades... and has made quite a career out of doing so. But now, it's 2009 and she's beginning to look more than a little strange to everyone, including those who were once diehard fans (for the record, that was never me).
Madonna is now 50 years old. Truth be told, when I think of a 50 year old woman, I think of Oprah, my mom, my friend's moms and so on. It's not that I don't view these ladies as sexy or beautiful... I absolutely do... I just see them as a little more "under the radar" with it, and that's what makes them so wonderful. They're not in-your-face about how hot they are - they just kind of have that quiet confidence; that "something special" just beneath the surface.
If you've been keeping up with the blogs, you've probably have heard about Madonna's quickie divorce from her husband of 8 or 9 years, Guy Ritchie. Now, she's making out in the March issue of W Magazine with her new rumored boy-toy Jesus Luz. Jesus' mother is 3 years younger than Madonna. And, yes, he is just as you'd expect - painfully attractive... and 22.
I just can't seem to fathom why a recently divorced, 50-year-old mother of 3, would do something quite so insensitive to her children.
(No one is naked, but you probably won't want to click on this link if you're at work)
This same song and dance was disturbing back in the 80s when she was childless and unmarried... but now, I mean, it's just flat out cruel to the little ones who look up to her... especially her pre-teen daughter, Lourdes.
Had my mother never been divorced, perhaps I would be in no position to judge. But she was single for nearly 10 years before she met my stepfather. And she never - and I mean NEVER - brought guys over to the house, hung all over them or showed any sort of sexual neediness at all around me. I mean, as far as I was concerned, my mom was just a really cool lady who loved me a lot and made me clean my room - not some vampish, slutty sexpot. If my mom did go out, she'd reserve her "date nights" for nights when I was with my father. She kept her personal life and our home life very much separate.
I think this is why it is oh-so-disturbing to me to see Madonna, a woman who clearly lacks any respect for herself and the feelings and well being of her children, to be rolling around in bed with a half-naked man-child for a bit of advertising money. This woman is a billionaire. Aside from adopting children from 3rd world countries, why couldn't she do something a bit more constructive with her time other than whoring herself out for publicity? She looks desperate... not to mention completely and utterly pathetic.
Madonna, your shtick was "edgy" and "controversial" back in 1987... but it's time to grow up now and act like a lady. That means putting your damn clothes back on, taking responsibility and actually being a role model to your kids for once.
This is really hard for me to sit down and write about but I think (know) that it will be therapeutic for me to do so.
This past Wednesday, I lost a friend. She was beautiful, intelligent and had a heart of gold. She loved my daughter and pretty much everyone she came in contact with. Her name was Genie. I met Genie back in 2006. She was full of life and love. We became fast friends. When I looked into her eyes I could see a pure and gentle soul.
Genie fell ill a while back. She was young at heart but her body started to give. The past few months she slowly started to deteriorate. Everything humanly possible was done to turn her health around but there was obviously something bigger than medicine that was pulling her away from us. Her last days were spent in confinement surrounded by people that loved her. Round the clock care was given to her until she finally let go of this life on Wednesday around 9:00 am.
I arrived five minutes too late to say my last goodbye.
Genie was a dolphin. She, in this life, was able to provide people from all around the world once in a lifetime experiences, lasting memories and for me, a friendship and unconditional love that was without parallel. It is hard to explain unless you are an animal lover.
Genie will live on in her son Alfonz and her grandson Leo who are still here with us at work.
In her final moment she was being held by the people that loved her the most.
In memory of Genie. One of the greatest women I've ever had the pleasure of knowing
What you are about to read is a not so exaggerated experience that my friend MC and I had the other evening....enjoy!
It was a cold, ominous night in the small town of Tavernier. Aislyn had ventured out into the arctic weather in search of some hot coffee and twelve steps. Upon arriving at the location designated for such an event, the parking lot was eerily vacant. After waiting a few minutes for more people to show, she got back into her car, baffled and not knowing quite what to do. She looked at her phone to see the time and noticed that someone had called. MC had been in search of the same thing but after Aislyn told her the unusual news, MC settled for meeting for a cheese sandwich, a grilled cheese sandwich.
They picked a local joint called "Craig's". Aislyn had never been there but MC assured her that the food was good and the service was better. Walking in the door, the two were overcome with a distinct smell of old fry grease that had seen it's share of dead fish. Once seated, the two ordered. Aislyn...a HOT chocolate and MC...a grilled cheese sandwich with a request for raw onions ON THE SIDE. The hot chocolate...anything but hot. The grilled cheese, less than cheesy. The side of raw onion...a whole onion died for the sake of MC's sandwich.
Sending back the sandwich, the two had some faith that it would return with less onion and more cheese. Their faith died, much like the onion, when the sandwich returned with another layer of cheese and yet MORE onion. Refusing to send it back a second time, MC took a deep breath, dissected the sandwich and ate. Aislyn looked on in what can only be described as total shock. (lol...sorry) By this time the scent of french-fried fish has expanded to beer-soaked ashtray with a fried fish floater. As if the horrible sandwich and oblivious server had not turned their stomachs...this scent, this odor sealed the deal.
Somehow finding humor in the whole situation, the two finished off their respective disasters and headed for the door. The cool, crisp air was refreshing. Their clothes...not so much. Aislyn thanked MC for the awesome experience and they each drove away.
I think it's the duty of the comedian to find out where the line is drawn and cross it deliberately. - George Carlin
He who controls others may be powerful, but he who has mastered himself is mightier still. - Lao Tzu
What do our opponents mean when they apply to us the label "Liberal?" If by "Liberal" they mean, as they want people to believe, someone who is soft in his policies abroad, who is against local government, and who is unconcerned with the taxpayer's dollar, then ... we are not that kind of "Liberal." But if by a "Liberal" they mean someone who looks ahead and not behind, someone who welcomes new ideas without rigid reactions, someone who cares about the welfare of the people -- their health, their housing, their schools, their jobs, their civil rights, and their civil liberties -- someone who believes we can break through the stalemate and suspicions that grip us in our policies abroad, if that is what they mean by a "Liberal," then I'm proud to say I'm a "Liberal." - John F. Kennedy[September 14, 1960]
Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then. - Katherine Hepburn
We've got a lot of relations with countries in our neighborhood. -George W. Bush
I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose... it'll be much harder to detect. - George Carlin