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Friday, July 25, 2008


Today's rant will be about a time here in the Florida Keys that brings much joy to some, but mostly brings two days of chaos to the rest of us.

Mini Lobster Season!

There should be a sign that reads:
"All morons with a boat: Please come to the Florida Keys July 30 and 31 to rape and ravage our precious waters for lobster."

I think people assume that in this two days, all of the lobster in our little corner of the world will be harvested and none will be left for regular lobster season. Every asshole with a boat and a trailer will invade my space in hopes of catching a Crustacean.

The ocean will look like Los Angeles on a Friday during rush hour. People will fight over that perfect spot where these little guys hide. Then they will get shitfaced drunk to celebrate their catch and forget that it is in the car and it will go bad in the cooler. Our fine boys in blue will have their time wasted over and over because some guy got drunk and decided to beat up his wife because she forgot to re-ice the cooler.

It is a sight to see.
So. All you assholes who want to ruin my day! Come to the Fabulous Florida Keys next week. It'll be a rockin' good time!

Seriously...if you find yourself heading here. Look at the laws pertaining to this two day massacre.

Rules For Lobster Mini Season

1 comment:

tex said...

would it be abusing my privilege as higher intelligent being to use 2 aluminum tickle sticks instead of 1? or is that just known as "playing dirty"