NOT IN KANSAS ANYMORE

I am in Indiana visiting the in-laws.

Can't write much.

Thought I saw children coming out of the corn last night.

The cows definitely came home.

I kinda like it here.....

WHAT DID SHE SAY?

After watching this video on Dooce.com I had to repost it and ask the same question Heather Armstrong does.

WHY IN THE HOLY HELL DID MCCAIN PICK THIS WOMAN TO BE HIS RUNNING MATE?!?

He is so experienced in military and obviously well educated on the topic and she...
she is "neighbors with Russia". Uh...and? I am 190 miles away from Cuba. Does that make me qualified in foreign policy....HELL NO!

Watch this and if you are a Palin fan, please explain to me what I am missing. I don't feel like I can relate to her on any level.

HOCKEY MOM

WHERE'S MY LIPSTICK DAMMIT?!?

I've officially taken Reagan to her first kiddie birthday party. Does that mean I've crossed over to that side of life where I need to get a mini van and dress in all pastel? Should I have a cardigan tied around my shoulders? What's the deal? This is all new to me. Before yesterday I was pretty comfortable just hanging with the roo (her nickname) and being pretty isolated from all the "soccer mom" type activities.

Does this also mean that I've been accepted by the "pack"? Did the women at her playgroup hold a secret meeting in a kitchen somewhere? Did they break out the Martha Stewart Living magazine and pray over it? Did they drop a ball of yarn and some knitting needles and depending on the way it landed determine whether I was accepted? I just don't really understand!

I was sitting at the bowling alley last night (where the party was held) just looking around in awe. It's like that sticker that says: "Come to the dark side, we have cookies."

Well, looks like I have started down a lavender colored path filled with scones, Paula Deen and all Organic products.....



That picture is not me, nor will I ever look like that.

LOOK AT ME GO

I turned 28 today and I can honestly say there was a time in my early twenties when I didn't think I'd live to see another birthday. I've come a LONG way since those days and it seems like life is just starting for me.

I look forward to meeting the future with open arms.

All I know is that I want to live old enough to set off fire alarms when they light the candles on my cake.

I want to be the old woman in those greeting cards. Wrinkled with coke bottle glasses making people smile.

Yep...that's what I want!

HAPPY DAY OF BIRTH

Happy Birthday Aislyn! And many more!

STATES OF MIND

This is too funny.

Where does your state stand?

Pennsylvania ranks number 6 on the list for neuroticism....ha

NEED HELP?

I have no idea what to dress Reagan up as for Halloween.

Any suggestions?

I want it to be something original. I know that is pretty impossible these days but NO princesses, ELMO, bugs, fruit or veggies....

HELP ME!!

THE HEADLINE SAYS IT ALL.

Click Below:

IT'S EXPLOSIVE!!

Oh, I loves me some hypocrisy!

BLOG BOOK

So...I was browsing one of my favorite blogs, She Talks, and found out about this contest where bloggers will be published in a book to help raise money for the NieNie Recovery Fund.

I entered and so should you!

Click Here To Do Just That

CRACKBERRY

I never really knew what the big hype was about this Blackberry thing until I got mine this week. I can't remember what life was like before it to be quite honest. I really didn't need it, but you know how that goes.

I can do everything on it short of calling God himself.

GPS navigation with real time traffic, watch TV, listen to the radio, download music, get my yahoo email as it comes in, IM other Blackberry users as well as IM users on AIM and Yahoo IM.

It is fantastic and I am really in love. It sounds weird and scary but now I know why they are doing research about how spouses love their Blackberry's more than their partners...ha

You think I'm kidding? Click Here

They even have a site dedicated to "Crackberry" users. Crackberry.com

To quote Gollum from the Lord of The Rings series....

"We wants it, we needs it. Must have the precious."

HACKING A MOOSE

No, no.....

I'm not talking about Sarah. Oh wait. I am!!

Hackers gained access to Gov. Sarah Palin's personal Yahoo account.

Why in the world would she have a public email account. She works for the Government. Don't they provide an email with a wee bit more security than free sites?

Perhaps our rifle toting friend has some things to hide?

JOHN AND KATE = $

I had heard something about all the nasty little stuff that goes on "behind the scenes" on the popular show John and Kate Plus 8. I am not going to link to the show because at one point I enjoyed watching it and thanking God that wasn't me. Now, I have a different opinion and don't want to promote it in a positive light.

Let's face it, Kate's a bitch and John is her little puppet who apparently has a temper problem.

I have one child and I turn into a beast every once in a while, but you'd think that having all this help, freebies and extra money from making the show, you'd try to show some appreciation or gratitude.

I am still in the beginning stages of researching all the dirt on this show but here is a blog that "Aunt Jodi's" sister on the show started.

BE PREPARED TO HAVE A LIGHT BULB MOMENT

WHORES IN TRAINING?

OK, OK...that headline may be a little harsh but I really find nothing cute or trendy about this video you are about to watch.

Go ahead....click here then come back to me.

RI-DAMN-DICULOUS!!

That is absolutely the most horrifying thing I've seen. I wouldn't put my child in those if you paid me. What? Now we want to teach our daughters, maybe even sons, that pink heels draw all sorts of attention to you? That just because you have some hooker heels on that you are cute?

NO!

Don't do this people....I'm going to be 28 in a few days and I still don't find anything attractive about shoes that squeeze your toes together and have you wishing you could dive in a bottle of aspirin after a few hours.

FIVE THINGS YOU DIDN'T KNOW ABOUT SARAH PALIN

Taken from People.com:

After having famously joked at her party's convention, "You know what they say about the difference between a hockey mom and a pit bull? Lipstick," what sort of lipstick does Republican vice-presidential nominee Sarah Palin prefer?

The Insider spoke to Palin's closest friends and found out, uncovering these five (more) things you may not know about her:

• She's frugal. "Sarah gave me a thank-you card after I helped her with her lieutenant-governor race," said her friend, Kristen Cole, who has known the Alaska governor since childhood. "She liked the card so much that she didn't sign it so I could give it to someone else."

• She's a techie. Palin prefers texting to phone calls.

• She's a rock fan. She named her son Trig Paxton Van Palin because it sounds like the band Van Halen. Says friend Judy Patrick, a former city council member who has known Palin for 12 years, "How cool was that to have a kid named Van Palin?"

• She's adaptable. Palin used to wear Mary Kay lipstick, but she now prefers MAC.

• She's a traditionalist. Palin is against waxing. Cole recalls: "I remember that one of her girls wanted to get her legs waxed, and Sarah said, 'Are you kidding me? What's wrong with a razor?' "




Van Palin? WTF?

IT'S ELMO'S WORLD

My daughter has reached the age where she wants to watch one thing, and one thing only. OVER AND OVER AND OVER....it's "Elmo's World".

Holy Christmas. I use to think the little red guy was all cute and cuddly. Now I find myself having homicidal thoughts over a puppet. Morning, noon and night. From the time she wakes up until the time I have to pry the remote out of her tiny little hands. "Melmo, Melmo". All day long.

I guess it's just a phase. At least that is what I'm telling myself. Don't get me wrong, it's amazing how from one day to the next she can fully communicate exactly what she wants. I just wish their was some variety in her viewing preferences. We joined one of those Disney Movie Clubs. Tons of kick ass movies that I loved when I was a child. But no, "Melmo, Melmo....."

Pardon me, the princess is demanding more Melmo......

LOLs

Pundit Kitchen.com brings the LOLs.

THE SECOND BEST QUOTE ABOUT LOVE

This was spoken by Ben Affleck in the last minute or two of the movie "Forces of Nature." I've seen that movie about 100,000 times and this quote still never fails to bring a tear to my eye.

I'll be using this at my wedding:


Marriage hath in it less of beauty but more of safety than the single life. It hath more care, but less danger; it is more merry, and more sad; it is fuller of sorrows, and fuller of joys; it lies under more burdens but it is supported by all the strengths of love and charity... and those burdens are delightful.

-Bishop Jeremy Taylor

"RAH, RAH, SIS-BOOM --- WHA...?"

As if high school isn't hard enough... imagine if your mom stole your identity and started rubbing elbows with the cheerleaders.

CLICKY CLICKY

I'M A BARGAINIST AND DARN PROUD OF IT

I can't even put into words how much I love this website.

On The Bargainst (left click on the logo to go there), you'll find everything from e-shopping coupon codes to printable coupons, free stuff and trial offers galore!



Sign up today and get Bargainst deals delivered straight to your email inbox.


It's fan-freakin'-tastic and recession-friendly!

WELL BEAM ME UP!

For those Star Trek fanatics out there, me not being one of them, George Takei aka Mr. Sulu wed his long time partner.

To read the whole story click here.

May the force be with you.....

I think that's wrong, but you get the drift.

OH BOY....

Sarah, Sarah, Sarah.

You just keep pushing me further and further away.

As a woman, I am proud to see how far we've come. It makes me feel all warm and fuzzy inside to know that Hillary Clinton almost became our Nation's first woman President. Now, Sarah Palin could become this country's first female V.P.

Here comes the big BUT!

Man, woman, dog or monkey, I just can't agree with her on some things and it seems she is digging a moose sized hole every time she opens her yapper. Her interview with Charlie Gibson was nothing if entertaining. She fumbles and stutter steps around foreign policy issues and when it came to the topic of National Security, she tried to compare her experience overseeing the Alaskan National Guard as a qualifier for overseas military experience. She tried justifying her work on energy issues by comparing that to National Security. I use cloth bags when I go to the grocery store, does that make me a candidate for Government? I turn off lights when I leave the room to conserve energy. Should I sit in the oval office? Seriously.

When asked if she had ever been out of the country, I think her response was Mexico and some other vacation destination.


An AP article reports this:

ANCHORAGE, Alaska (AP) ? Gov. Sarah Palin's church is promoting a conference that promises to convert gays into heterosexuals through the power of prayer.

You'll be encouraged by the power of God's love and His desire to transform the lives of those impacted by homosexuality," according to the insert in the bulletin of the Wasilla Bible Church, where Palin has prayed since she was a child.

Palin's conservative Christian views have energized that part of the GOP electorate, which was lukewarm to John McCain's candidacy before he named her as his vice presidential choice. She is staunchly anti-abortion, opposing exceptions for rape and incest, and opposes gay marriage and spousal rights for gay couples.

YIKES!

I think I'll go fire off my high powered rifle, pose for Vogue and sip on some nice hot moose soup and think about this for awhile.

pshh.....

SLAM DUNK!

Tina Fey hit it out of the park playing Gov. Sarah Palin on SNL last night. If you missed it than you NEED to click here!!

SOMEONE SAY "MOOSE STEW"?

Rumor has it that Tina Fey will return to SNL to play Sarah Palin.

Well, duh.

They could have been separated at birth as far as looks go. I hope, hope, hope that this is the case. I can't wait to see what the writers have in store for Fey aka Palin!!

To read the story released by the AP click here.

I wonder who will play the moose?

UNCLE CHUCK

I just returned from a nine day excursion to my hometown of Pittsburgh, PA. I left early due to Tropical Storm Hanna and stayed later due to Hurricane Ike. It was fabulous!

I can't really put into words the feelings and emotions I felt while being home. As soon as we touched down I got a sigh of relief type of feeling. I love Pittsburgh and everything and everyone in it. I stayed in a part of town where you can walk out the front door and be consumed with the hustle and bustle of city life. I was a short walk away from Walnut St. in Shadyside. This is a higher end part of town where there are shops, coffee bars and people with laptops, iPods and Blackberrys.

I got to spend time with some of the most important people in my life. My co-blogger Marie, my family and some of the best friends anyone could ever have. Reagan and I took full advantage of all the city has to offer. We were tourists in our own town. Walking the Southside of Pittsburgh, eating pretzel sammiches and drinking milkshakes that would make the veins pop out of your head.

Driving North of the city to a country town to visit some friends, going to the zoo and watching the city turn black and gold as the Steelers won their home opener against the Texans.

I can't help but think that I will end up there again some day. The journey that has been my life has taken me on some wild adventures and it only seems natural that I would end up spending my golden years in the place that brings me the most joy.

The people that inhabit the city of Pittsburgh are one of a kind. They have a certain accent that is quite contagious, would defend the city 'til the end and give an impression that we are all one big happy family.

As Reagan and I sat in a local diner one morning, a man came up to her toting a big green stuffed dog and said "here you go sweetie, you can call me Uncle Chuck."

I had never met this man before, but it just reconfirmed what I've always known...
there really is no place like home!

ANOTHER BAD DREAM

I had a dream I was speaking at the RNC and got booed by hundreds of thousands of people.

Also, Sarah Palin was yelling at me.



This dream was way worse than the Britney one, I'll tell ya that much...

That moose is lunch.

MY FAVORITE THING ABOUT MY FIANCE'

Not only am I in love with a republican, I'm in love with a hockey player too.

He, of course, would get slightly pissy and tell you that he's "not a hockey player," but this is how our entire hometown community and graduating class would describe him... and this how he'll probably always be remembered.

At age 7 or 8, my fiance' had begun training aggressively to become the best hockey player he could be. As he grew, he only got better... playing on travel teams for many months in high school and competing in championships around the nation. By college, he was spotted by international scouts and planned to play overseas to Sweden, (then subsequently, in the NHL), before a series of head injuries took him out of the game - for good - in 2002.

Although he'll still play here and there in adult leagues and the odd alumni game, the boy still has chops... and man... can he skate.

On one of our first dates, I asked him if he was a good skater... but he wasn't cocky about it - he just simply stated, "To tell you the truth - I can probably skate better than I can walk." (I know that does sound cocky, but trust me, he was straight-shootin')

The first winter after we started dating, I wanted to test his skills... so he took me to a local ice rink on one of those "all skate" nights. Since I can barely stand up on those stupid slivers of metal, he told me to wait by the wall so he could do a lap. My jaw completely dropped to the floor (er, ice) when I saw him whip around the rink like he was on rails. He was SO GRACEFUL on those skates! All I could think of was, "Wow - where did THAT come from?" I was so impressed.

Besides the fact that he's a good, hardworking, honest man - I absolutely LOVE seeing him on the ice. I know that sounds superficial, but it's one of the most attractive things about him... and something that I don't get to see everyday.

Oh, and for the record - as we were walking out of the rink that night, he tripped - twice - over his own feet.

See?

Told you he was a straight-shooter.

GRRRRRR

Saw this on Perezhilton.com and just had to share.

It's freakin' hysterical and the resemblance is uncanny.

I'm trying to be fair and give everyone the benefit of the doubt during this election but when someone opens the door, you know I'm gonna run right through.

*Right now I'm doing my best Palin impression, whiny voice and puckered lips after thinking she just nailed an insult.*



Photo courtesy of PerezHilton.com

WHO YOU GONNA CALL?

Apparently Bill Murray, Dan Aykroyd, Harold Ramis, and Ernie Hudson.

A surprise announcement from Columbia Pictures stating the studio has assigned "The Office" writers, Lee Eisenberg and Gene Stupnitsky to pen a third chapter to the Ghostbusters franchise.

No cast deals will be made until the script is ready, but word is that Columbia wants to bring back original cast members. How old are these men now? Slimer is probably chillin' on a beach in Bimini. The State Puffed Marshmallow Man is wrinkled and poppin' Viagra, the Gatekeeper and Keymaster have upgraded to touchpads.

Don't get me wrong. I LOVED the Ghostbusters back in the day and no one should ever even think of making a third without the original cast, but...I'm skeptical of how it would fare in the box office.

Maybe this is one of those situations where you need to leave well enough alone.

APOLOGIES

I have to apologize for being a slacker on the posts. I am on vacation in my hometown and am having too much fun to sit down and put it all into words. That will come when I'm back to the daily grind of living in Key Largo.

Plus, I am staying on the third floor of my Uncle's house and Reagan has developed a fascination with the stairs (which we don't have at home). So I have to keep a close eye on the little one.

I'll be back soon....promise!

WORST. DREAM. EVER.

Oh - and before I cease to blog today, I should probably tell you all about my incredibly effed up dream from last night. 

I had a dream that I was next to go on stage and do a dance routine for millions of people (via TV) and a live audience, but I had no idea what my steps were.   I guess someone had told me literally 2 hours before I was supposed to perform that I was performing so, naturally, I was completely unprepared.  I never wanted to do it, but people kept telling me I had to or else I would screw up everyone else's performance schedule. 

The worst part?  I had to dance to a Britney Spears song AND I was the only solo act!  Plus, I was in regular street clothes.  No costume or anything, which made it that much more embarrassing.  

I suddenly got lucid while dreaming, made myself realize it was a dream, and forced myself to wake up before I walked on stage. 

Someone please analyze this for me.  There has to be some sort of Freudian explanation. 

Scary.

I LIKE THIS IMAGE

It kind of reminds me of me at around age 11, except without the elephant and goofy FLDS nightie.

Actually, it doesn't remind me of me all that much.

I just like the picture, so I'm posting it. 

P.S.  If the girl was Sarah Palin, and that elephant was a moose, that moose would be dead and in her soup...or in between two slices of bread. 

Hey, I'm just sayin'... 

GIMMIE A FRICKIN' BREAK...

I refuse to stay silent on this issue as both an Internet/college-trained journalist and as a Christian.

Before one more incorrect political statement continues to be smeared across the web and end up in my inbox, perhaps we Christians should not only FACT CHECK our email forwards but remember Commandment #9: "Neither shalt thou bear false witness against thy neighbour."

Between yesterday and today, I've received this email forward a total of 3 times (intentionally) from someone who shall remain nameless:

As I was listening to a news program last night, I watched in horror as Barack Obama made the statement with pride. . .'we are no longer a Christian nation; we are now a nation of Christians, Muslims, Buddhists, etc., . . .

As with so many other statements I've heard him (and his wife) make, I never thought I'd see the day that I'd hear something like that from a presidential candidate in this nation. To think our forefathers fought and died for the right for our nation to be a Christian nation--and to have this man say with pride that we are no longer that. How far this nation has come from what our founding fathers intended it to be.

I hope that each of you will do what I'm doing now--send your concerns, written simply and sincerely, to the Christians on your email list. With God's help, and He is still in control of this nation and all else, we can show this man and the world in November that we are, indeed, still a Christian nation!

Uhhh.... did someone forget to conduct a little 5-second research online, or perhaps fail to, oh... I dunno...visit the Barack Obama website to make sure that what they'd be sending was, at the very least, accurate?

Let's break it down, folks.

First of all, Obama's quote was altered and taken out of context, which is pretty much the cardinal sin of journalistic reporting. Here is the actual quote:

“Given the increasing diversity of America's population, the dangers of sectarianism have never been greater. Whatever we once were, we are no longer JUST a Christian nation; we are also a Jewish nation, a Muslim nation, a Buddhist nation, a Hindu nation, and a nation of nonbelievers.” - Call to Renewal Keynote Address

Friends and family - forgive me as I refuse to perpetuate this fallacy. Perhaps it's just me, but I prefer to double-check the accuracy of mass emails before I commence forwarding them along to every Tom, Dick and Harry in my address book.

Furthermore, consider this - Obama's exact statement was, in fact, a true statement. Surprise! There are Jews, Muslims and Buddhists in our country and we must respect their beliefs even if we don't necessarily agree with them - period.

Second, FactChecker.org has an inkling this is just merely another planted PR piece:

Public relations campaigns in which boilerplate letters are sent to editors around the country, hoping to get them printed, have been a staple of persuasion campaigns for generations. The Internet has provided a new avenue for such organized efforts. If this is one such effort, it has succeeded. An Internet search for the words "Obama says U.S. no longer a Christian nation" brings up page after page of blog entries and other Web postings repeating the altered Obama quote, without the word "just."

And for those of you who need clarification, here are more direct (and accurate!) quotes to supplement the aforementioned correct statement straight from Obama himself:

"When you have pastors and television pundits who appear to explicitly coordinate with one political party; when you're implying that your fellow Americans are traitors, terrorist sympathizers or akin to the devil himself; then I think you're attempting to hijack the faith of those who follow you for your own personal or political ends.

I don't think it's helpful as candidates or as a country to get into discussions about who's more religious. That sounds a little like storing up treasures on earth to me. I've just always been clear that my Christian faith has motivated me for twenty years and I'm not ashamed to talk about it, or the role that faith should play in our American life."

The moral of the story? Don't believe everything you read and be careful what you email. Half the time it's either Photoshopped or inaccurate.

Unfortunately, ignorance is ignorance.

A simple man believes anything, but a prudent man gives thought to his steps.

Proverbs 14:15

FAITH & IRONY

Although I listen to Focus on the Family almost daily, I do believe James Dobson is (at times) off his rocker. Not a bad guy, mind you ... just a little too far "right" for my taste.

This, though, proves that no matter where you stand personally, spirtually or otherwise, people will always judge you by the company you keep and drag your organization and/or beliefs through the mud... if, in fact, you hire someone like Stuart Shepard to be your director of digital media.

In this lovely little 2 minute film, Stewie asks all conservatives to pray for a torrential downpour during Obama's speech at the DNC last week.

So what does God do?

Sends Gustav, of course.

Karma's a bee-otch!

Dobson and Focus on the Family have since apologized and removed the video from their website. Shepard claims he was only "joking around," but I wouldn't be surprised if he didn't have a job come Wednesday.

Christians who wish harm on other people typically don't have a very long shelf life, especially if they're trying to perpetuate the funding of their ministry through viewer and listener donations.

Click here to read an article on Stuart Shepard's prayer request.

AH SNAP

What do you all think of Gov. Palin's 17-year old daughter being pregnant? Not so much the pregnancy, that is a personal thing, a young irresponsible teenage thing and a thing that needs to be dealt with by the family and not the media.

I'm talkin' 'bout the fact that McCain allegedly knew this before hand. How in the hell would he know something like that? That is like so headed in the "right" direction. I can't believe that McCain would even consider putting Palin on the ticket, knowing how heated this race is going to be.

THEY'RE GRRRRREAT!

OK, so it's the day of my flight. I can't sleep. I'm eating dry Frosted Flakes and watching John and Kate Plus 8. I've checked my flight status at least 50 times today and much to my surprise, the weather forecast between Florida and Pennsylvania hasn't changed that much.

This isn't unusual for me. This time, however, it is a little more neurotic than usual. Perhaps it is the drop in pressure from all these storms passing through/on their way? All I know is that I can't wait to get close enough to Pittsburgh that I can start recognizing landmarks from the air.

That feeling I get when we pass over the city is something that should be bottled up. It's that sigh of relief followed by a "relax, you're home". Nothing like it I tell ya....nothing like it.