BLOWING THIS HURRICANE STAND

I've officially had enough of this Mother Nature chick. So...I am getting the heck out of the Keys for a week. My trip home, which was originally suppose to begin this coming Thursday was moved up (by me) to a Tuesday departure.

I need to be where I can see land at all times. Mountains, twists and turns in the road. A CITY for good God's sake. Civilization, where people say "yinz" and bleed black and gold. Yes...that is where I need to be. If you have no idea where I'm talking about, it's Pittsburgh, PA.

Marie and I will be reunited and perhaps we shall blog together. Like, a sitting next to each other blog. Oh what a lucky day that will be for you all! You have no clue what it's like when we reunite. I'm not ashamed to say I've pissed my pants a little from the laughter that takes place.

It is also our ten-year high school reunion next weekend. I have no comment at this time. We'll see how it goes and then I will give a full report upon my return to Hurricane Island.

So...here's to you Gustav and Hanna. Thanks for giving me the opportunity to get a few more days in the hometown.

Seriously...thanks. I was praying for a good excuse to spend a few more days there and here we are. No better excuse than threat of a natural disaster.

DEBATE DATES

Here are the presidential debate dates in case anyone's interested.

Personally, I am so excited I can hardly contain myself. I may just throw a "Political Party" and invite some friends over for each debate.

No alcohol though... I don't want anyone killing each other.


From Wikipedia:

Three presidential Commission on Presidential Debates (CPD) debates have been scheduled for 2008:

Friday, September 26, 2008 at the University of Mississippi's Gertrude C. Ford Center in Oxford, Mississippi, moderated by Jim Lehrer, executive editor and anchor of The NewsHour on PBS. This debate will focus on Foreign Policy & National Security.

Tuesday, October 7, 2008 at Belmont University's Curb Event Center in Nashville, Tennessee, moderated by Tom Brokaw, special correspondent for NBC News. This debate will have a town-hall meeting format.

Wednesday, October 15, 2008 at Hofstra University's David S. Mack Sports and Exhibition Complex in Hempstead, New York, moderated by Bob Schieffer, CBS News chief Washington correspondent and host of Face the Nation. This debate will focus on Domestic and Economic Policy.

One vice-presidential CPD debate has been scheduled:

Thursday, October 2, 2008 at Washington University in St. Louis' Field House Gymnasium in St. Louis, Missouri, moderated by Gwen Ifill, senior correspondent on The NewsHour and moderator and managing editor of Washington Week on PBS. Topics have not been set for this debate as of yet.

THROW AWAY THE KEY

I am so tired of hearing about this. Not because I don't have a heart. It's because this girl obviously knows what happened to her little girl and she doesn't deserve to breathe the same air I do.

Luckily, the man that posted her bond had a rational thought and now believes that Casey Anthony knows what happened to her daughter.

Read the story here.

Lock this chick up, throw away the key and let her sit until she can rub enough brain cells together to start telling the truth.

SEX-FILES

X-files star David Duchovny has entered a rehab for sex addiction.

WHAAAAAAAAAAAA?

Read Here

PILOBOLUS

I received this video via email.

It truly is performance art and modern dance at its finest! The performers are from the Pilobolus Dance Theater and are gaining national attention for their creative interpretations!

Things are not as they seem! (Just watch it - you'll see what I mean)

Enjoy!

Video Credit: NBC/Late Night with Conan O'Brien

THANKS, BUT NO THANKS

Billy boy said it all last night.

Click Here

I really don't like bringing politics into this blog. I wouldn't want to deter our readers based on political views.

However, one thing I've learned in life is that if you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything.

What I believe in may not be what others believe in. Everyone has a right to their own opinion and I respect that more than most.

I ALWAYS KNEW...

...I was smart!

It was brought to my attention that the two nominees for U.S. President are both left handed. I also am a "southpaw". I've been doing some research on this gift I've been given. For a long time I felt handicapped by this. I would always smudge the paper when I wrote. I had to learn how to cut with my right hand and I noticed that my handwriting looked a little wonky.

Left handers are more inclined to go into the arts, music or anything that requires us to use our imagination. Some current theories say we will soon move from the Information Age to the Conceptual Age as described in an article by Daniel H. Pink, Revenge of the Right Brain. This basically says that the outsourcing of routine analytical jobs will continue and companies will rely more heavily on creative and imaginative people to sell their products or services.

In his book Right-Hand, Left-Hand, Chris McManus of University College London argues that the proportion of left-handers is rising and left-handed people as a group have historically produced an above-average quota of high achievers. He says that left-handers' brains are structured differently in a way that widens their range of abilities, and the genes that determine left-handedness also govern development of the language centers of the brain.

McManus also says that the increase in the 20th century of people identifying as left-handed could produce a corresponding intellectual advance and a leap in the number of mathematical, sporting, or artistic geniuses.

So...I'm proud to be a lefty. Perhaps a career in politics awaits?

To see a list of some famous lefties click here

This reminds me of a great quote:

Everyone is born right handed. Only the gifted overcome it.



Italicized quote taken from wikipedia.org

GIRL POWER

Uh...all I can say is WOW! Hillary Clinton hit a homerun last night with her speech at the Democratic National Convention. "No way, no how, NO MCCAIN!" Sending a message are we? haha

At one point my husband, the conservative, walked in and asked if I was going to be watching that. I said yes and he walked out of the room. Ah well. There are some things that just aren't worth fighting over. Especially so I don't have an ulcer by the time I'm 30.

As a woman, with a daughter, I was truly moved not by the speech, but by her presence. It wasn't too long ago in our Nation's history that women could not even vote. Now they run for President. That's the kind of country I want to live in.

Watching her last night with Reagan (who is only 13 months) reassured me that she can be and do anything she wants and no one has any right to tell her different. And I leaned over to her and whispered just that in her tiny ear.

I will never stop whispering that in her ear.

"I ran for President to renew the promise of America. To rebuild the middle class and sustain the American Dream, to provide the opportunity to work hard and have that work rewarded, to save for college, a home and retirement, to afford the gas and groceries and still have a little left over each month.

To promote a clean energy economy that will create millions of green collar jobs.

To create a health care system that is universal, high quality, and affordable so that parents no longer have to choose between care for themselves or their children or be stuck in dead end jobs simply to keep their insurance.

To create a world class education system and make college affordable again.

To fight for an America defined by deep and meaningful equality - from civil rights to labor rights, from women's rights to gay rights, from ending discrimination to promoting unionization to providing help for the most important job there is: caring for our families. To help every child live up to his or her God-given potential.

To make America once again a nation of immigrants and a nation of laws.

To bring fiscal sanity back to Washington and make our government an instrument of the public good, not of private plunder.

To restore America's standing in the world, to end the war in Iraq, bring our troops home and honor their service by caring for our veterans.

And to join with our allies to confront our shared challenges, from poverty and genocide to terrorism and global warming.

Most of all, I ran to stand up for all those who have been invisible to their government for eight long years.

Those are the reasons I ran for President. Those are the reasons I support Barack Obama. And those are the reasons you should too."

AMEN SISTER! AMEN!


If you didn't see the whole speech, click here.

I'M A GEE-NYUS

I will be traveling to my homeland next week (Pittsburgh, PA). I always have this issue with over packing and now that I pack for my daughter as well, space in the suitcase is lacking.

While cruising the isles of Kmart today looking for a duffel bag the size of Texas, I came across those space saver bags. You know, the ones where you suck the air out for "space saving" storage.

The light bulb, that sometimes flickers a few times, went off in my head.

"Hey", I said to Reagan, "what if I put our clothes in these bags to save space in the suitcase?" She gave me the "you have three heads look" but I knew it was a genius thought. So I snatched those suckers up and let me tell you. I have sucked the life out of those bags that were filled with our clothes and I still have plenty of room for stuff.

I'm pretty proud of my discovery, although I'm sure I'm not the first to do this. I'm just glad I finally caught on.



That's not me...but it shows the awesome power of the space saver.

KENNEDY CURE

I don't know if you got a chance to watch the speech Senator Ted Kennedy gave last night at the Democratic National Convention. If you didn't than click here.

This is so much bigger than Democrat and Republican. When he walked out on stage it brought a tear to my eye. Surpassing all odds, this man who underwent surgery not too long ago for brain cancer, displays a will to live that is more than admirable. He had the strength and courage to stand and speak for something that he believes in despite his physical condition.

I always look for people who display the kind of characteristics that I would like to have, and he is one of them. The Kennedys have been such a force in this country for so long and nothing seems to ever get them down. Tragedy, death and illness, they cannot be stopped.

When it comes down to basic human nature, no matter what your political views are, this is a man, and a family, that deserves respect.

Watching him last night made me truly proud to be an American!

ETSY

I have to thank the hilarious Heather Armstrong of Dooce for this find. She always dresses her daughter in the cutest stuff and I've never had time to really sit down and surf through this site.

Etsy is an online marketplace for buying & selling all things handmade.

You have to look at it...you can do so by clicking here

ESTY IS FABULOUS!!

OBAMA? IS THAT YOU?

OOOOoooo.... I wonder if there's another "me" somewhere...

CLICK HERE

He even speaks Espanol!

EL SWEET!

WAYS TO SCORE FREE FOOD

YUM!

OWWIE

"oh, sorry. was that your foot?"

Check this out for some mildly amusing Olympic bloopers/injuries.

GO FAST!

What did these people all have in common?

Socrates
Plato
Aristotle
Hippocrates
Jesus
Moses
Elijah
and
David?

They all fasted as a means of purification, of healing and/or as a way of seeking God.

Right now, there is someone in my life involved in a 24-hour, water-only fast and I'm learning that it's actually not such a bad idea for a multitude of reasons.

At first, when this person told me they planned to fast, immediately I assumed they were off-the-deep-end-out-of-their-mind insane. I mean, why would you purposely go even one day without food when you don't have to? It's so un-American!

I suppose I shouldn't have been surprised when the answer I received (via said faster) was, "To seek the face of God." To which I responded (in my mind), "Well, yeah... I'm sure I would see a lot of stuff too if I hadn't eaten in a day... God would probably just be one of them - along with visions of Moe's burritos and milkshakes."

However, after researching "benefits of fasting" online, I found the following:

1. Fasting is actually a modern, physician-accepted way of ridding toxins from the body... that is, as long as you're not suffering from serious ailments such as hypoglycemia or heart problems.

2. Fasting regenerates and energizes the body, mind and emotions, and supports a greater spiritual awareness.

3. Its use goes back many thousands of years, to the beginning of life forms.

4. Fasting is a natural method of healing. When animals are sick, they fast.

5. Well, duh - it cleans out your colon and... I mean, c'mon... who doesn't enjoy a sparkling, april-fresh colon?


Now I'm not saying that fasting's for me... but what I am saying is... if you think you can handle the hunger pangs - or God's face and audible voice, for that matter - it might not be such a bad idea.

Click here for a great article on fasting: HERE

Disclaimer: I am not a doctor. Please see your PCP first, should you decide to fast.

Have you ever intentionally fasted?

Do you plan to fast?

What did you learn/experience?

BIG FISH

Did you hear about this monster fish?

Click Here

A man-sized grouper that trolls the tropical waters of the Eastern Pacific Ocean for octopuses and crabs has been identified as a new fish species after genetic tests.

Called the goliath grouper, the fish can grow to six feet (1.8 meters) in length and weigh a whopping 1,000 pounds (454 kg). Until now, scientists had grouped this species with an identical looking fish (also called the goliath grouper, or Epinephelus itajara) living in the Atlantic Ocean.



(Mitt Romney has nothing to do with this story...I just like the picture. You can almost hear him saying "I once caught a fish THIS big".)

Quote taken from LiveScience.com

SNOT RAGS 'R US

I don't know about anyone else and their emotional condition during the show Extreme Home Makeover, but for me, I turn into a snot sniffling, teary eyed fool.

I'm not sure when my emotions took a turn. I use to watch the show without needing to use my pillow as a tissue. Now, from the opening credits to the "Welcome home ________ family", I have watery eyes and break out into spontaneous fits of crying.

I guess it is a good thing. There would probably be something wrong with me if I felt no emotion.

I often wonder though, how these families, who could barely get by before, are going to pay for the bills that come along with their new house. Electricity alone for some of these places has to be outrageous.

OH MARY JANE

A South Florida mall was raided when 200 Marijuana plants were found growing in a storage room. Elaborate surveillance cameras were in place.

Officials still have no clue who the plants belong to.

This country is so awesome! Get your designer bag at Macy's then hop on over to the pot shop to get stoned!

This is the only video I could find on this story, but it was on our local news about five minutes ago.

LIGHT UP HERE

OBAMA AND BIDEN SITTING IN A TREE

I personally am disappointed that the Obama/Clinton ticket didn't fly.

Maybe Biden and McCain can go pick up their Viagra prescriptions together and compare AARP cards.

This is causing much conversation about who McCain will pick for a running mate. This leaves him an opportunity to shake things up a bit. One report was talking about how McCain picking a woman could be in the game plan.

A woman eh? Hmmmm....Obama picked the liberal version of his adversary. Perhaps McCain will pick Condoleezza Rice.

To read the story click here.






(I know it would seem like I am abandoning my liberal thinking to make fun of Biden. I'm not. I'm an equal opportunity offender.)

OH GOOGLE...

I had no freaking idea that Google had an online store.

Am I behind the times or what? Geesh.

I am so going to get some Google Gear! I've crossed over to the other side anyway. Might as well get the mini van and a blogger beanie cap and call it a year.



Click here for googly goodness

I AM SAM

The best thing in the world just happened about an hour ago. My daughter loves the book "Green Eggs and Ham" and she has a little Sam doll she carries around.

Since she's discovered that being up on two feet is way cooler than crawling around on the ground, a whole new set of opportunities to cause panic have presented themselves to her.

One being, reaching in the toilet. I know what you're thinking. "Get those clips that hold down the lid." It gets to a point where I say I will child proof the house but never do. It's not neglect, it's teaching responsibility. (sounds good right?)

Seriously though. I believe that all those months they are crawling around, kids make mental note of everything they will destroy once able to walk.

Tonight was a Reagan first. She toddled up to the toilet and threw Sam right in. I didn't have the wherewithal to go and grab the camera, mostly because I was screaming, laughing and pissing my pants all at the same time. I could go and throw it in to recreate it, but that would be deceiving all you lovely readers.

I think you can imagine what it looked like though.

No Green Eggs or Ham were harmed in the making of this post. Sam, however, didn't fair so well

SLACKER

Sorry I didn't post anything entertaining today. I've been given an awesome business opportunity and I am trying to get that underway. I won't go into much detail now but it has to do with private fishing charters. Once the site is put together I will let you all know.

I am in the process of trying to upload a video of Reagan walking for the whole world to see but it is slow going.

SAVINGS OUT THE WAZOO

Hi Readers -

Just wanted to let you know that all jeans at Old Navy will be on sale Saturday (tomorrow) only for just $12! Jeans for kids are just 7 bucks each. (In store only)

That's one "denim-azing" sale!

COMFORTABLY CHAOTIC

I had a realization, more of like a Universal bitch slap, today. My life isn't chaotic in the broad sense of the word. In fact, it is pretty "normal". But under a microscope, one part of my life has gone to the Street. Sesame Street that is.

My daughter learned to walk, is trying to talk and runs the house like a mob boss. She knows what she wants, when she wants it and how it should be delivered to her.

I took her to Payless today, I figured that she shouldn't be running around with dirty feet like some homeless baby since she can walk now. She picked out the shoes she wanted, sat down for me to put them on, then did her runway walk around the store to make sure they were to her total liking.

This is not the first instance of Princess-like behavior she has started to exhibit. She has developed an extreme fascination with books, singing and dancing. When she wants to be read to, she will bring a book and slam it down as to signify it is time to read. God forbid you refuse or say "hold on".

The singing craze is a direct result of me taking her to playgroup. They sing the usual "head, shoulders, knees and toes", "if you're happy and you know it", "itsy, bitsy spider" and "wheels on the bus". It's cute and funny to watch her dance and clap along. Last night I made the fatal error of singing to her before bed. Thirty minutes later, when my throat was raw and my voice was fading, I decided to stop. Mistake. She's on the floor screaming and waving her arms in protest.

Dancing. She got that from Ellen. It's cute, harmless and I can just put on the tunes and let her go to town.

(She got my rhythm, thank God. I love my husband, but he is lacking in the rhythm department.)

The final dose of reality came today when I had to go to Kmart after playgroup to see if I could find a CD with all these songs on it so I didn't have to sing my life away.

On the way home, windows down, wind in our hair and "Oh my darling Clementine" blasting on the radio.

"Welcome to club Aislyn", I thought. "Welcome to the club."


Pictured above: The chosen shoes.

HOMELAND INSECURITY

I have no words. No nice words anyway.

Click here and be mortified

YOUR PLATONIC MAN-CRUSH IS A RHYTHMIC GYMNAST

Can it be?

Matty and Al as "Dreamweavers."

I should've majored in this in college...

NUH-UH...

Hell hasn't frozen over like this since Aislyn got married.

Click: IS THIS FOR REAL?

A DOSE OF CREEPY

This dude's last wishes weird me out!

CLICKY McCLICKERSON

I USED TO CARRY HER AROUND

Fifteen years ago next week, our family was blessed with a tiny, chubby, genius child. My step mom and father named her Kathryn Marie and she has continued to amaze us ever since.

I was 13 when Kate was born. To me, I figured having a baby sister would be a lot like having a puppy. And I have to admit, it kind of was at first. But imagine if that puppy started to speak in full sentences...following you around... dressing like you... all while trying to get your attention by saying your name - but failing miserably because its brain wasn't totally developed at 2 years old.

Truth be told... as annoying as her antics were in my teen years, they were just as equally endearing.

So where is she now? Well... still busy being a genius, naturally. She's in pretty much every advanced class you can take in high school, a straight A student and an active participant in church, extracurricular activities and community service programs. The clincher though? She's not a huge dork. She's friends with people of all ages and walks of life and has this incredible, sarcastic (and silly) sense of humor.

She's also an entire head taller than me, which freaks me out because just a mere 8 years ago I was carrying her around on my hip at my college basketball games.

So, in celebration of her 15th birthday, I'd like to present a few of my most favorite memories of my baby sister:

- Trying to sleep in at my dad's house when I was 15, and having her 2 year old, screaming, laughing self repeatedly jump on my head to wake me up at 6am.

- Her feeble attempt at saying certain words properly at ages 2 to 3.5:

"Mano Man" = Snowman
"Dondalds" = McDonald's
"Tree Tundle" = Tree Tunnel (referring to the trees growing over the road where we were driving)
"Gigon Ging" = Lion King

- Her "spinnin' dress" phase - where she insisted on wearing only skirts for an entire year. She would scream in protest if you tried to put pants on her. My parents lost this war.

- Singing karaoke with her in the basement of my dad's house when I was 17 and she was 4. We sang Alanis Morissette's "Thank You," which was playing on the radio at the time. One of the lines was, "How bout no longer being masochistic," which she pronounced, "mas-toe-kiss-ticks." We have this on video.

- Feeling a sense of sadness for the loss of her little kid days... but excitement for the years to come.

Something tells me we're going to be great friends.

Happy B-Day, Baby Sis.

I WON MY MAMA

I'm sure most of you have seen some of these clips but...


Put Your Paw Here

THE DAY AFTER FAY

Fay proved to be pretty uneventful for those of us in the Upper Keys. Wind, rain and losing cable TV is the worst of what we got. Down in the Lower Keys and Key West is where most of the damage was done.

I did a live weather report over the phone with a Pittsburgh radio station. It was funny.

It is still a little windy here but the sun is shining, I have cable again and the internet was never lost. All in all, nothing major to report. Thankfully.

Thanks Fay for not spanking us royally. Your lack of blowage was much obliged.

"BLUHD! IT'S NOT FUH-NEEEEE!"

We love this clip at work.

CLICK RIGHT 'DARE

GOOD OLD BECKY WELDON

This first quote absolutely slays me.

Taken from an AP article entitled "What Storm? Keys Take Tropical Storm Fay in Stride." from Yahoo.com:


There are bad storms and there are nice ones, and this is a nice one," said Becky Weldon, a 43-year-old guest house manager in Key West. "It cleans out all the trees, it gives people a little work to do and it gets the tourists out of here for a few days."

Officials were worried that complacency could cost lives, repeatedly urging people across the state to take Fay seriously. The message got through to tourists — Monroe County Mayor Mario Di Gennaro estimated 25,000 fled the Keys. Some residents have taken steps since the busy 2004-05 storm years, when eight hurricanes hammered Florida, such as buying generators and strengthening homes, but not everyone is as prepared.

"This is not the type of storm that's going to rip off a lot of roofs or cause the type of damage we normally see in a large hurricane," said Craig Fugate, the state's emergency management chief.

However, Fugate said: "I've seen as many people die when I have a blob-shaped asymmetrical storm that they dismiss as not being very dangerous."


Aislyn, I think it's time yinz guys put up your storm shutters.
I can't blog alone.

TV's FIRST TRANNIE

Alright Marie, since you went the Pee Wee route. Let's talk about Jambi, TV's first transvestite. Come on, you totally see it right?



He's so gender confused it's outrageous. He can't even "come out of the box". But he does do a damn fine job with makeup application.

"Mekka-lekka hi mekka hiney ho!"

WHA..? COWBOY CURTIS ON CSI?!?

Aislyn - you mean THIS Laurence Fishburne?





I guess we all have to start somewhere...

CLICK HERE TO SEE THE MASTER THESPIAN AT WORK

(You should know the secret word is "More")

WELL NOW...

If you weren't aware, or just plain don't care, William Peterson (Gil Grissom from CSI) will be leaving the show and they just announced that Lawrence Fishburne will be replacing him as the lead in the popular TV show.

I guess if you have to do it, do it right.

Grissom will still have occasional guest appearances on the show. It is a sad, sad day for me. I love me some Gil Grissom.

If you would like to read the article,put your pointy here

P.S. THIS MOVIE IS FANTASTIC

I'm a big time chick flick fan. And when I say big time, I mean BIG TIME. Now, bear in mind, this is in no way comparable to my burrito addiction or organizational crusade... but it's pretty darn close.

Some of my favorites include, but are not limited to: When Harry Met Sally, The Notebook, Divine Secrets of the Ya Ya Sisterhood, The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants, any other movie with the word "sisterhood" in the title, Little Women (the 1994 remake starring Winona Ryder), How to Make an American Quilt (also starring Winona Ryder), Shopgirl (written by and starring Steve Martin-and also better than the book), How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days, Somewhere in Time, Sleepless in Seattle... Just name pretty much any movie with a dramatic sub-plot, centered around a love story with a dash of comedy thrown in for good measure, and I can almost 100% guarantee I've seen it.

That said, I rented this doozy of a film last week (see image, above left) and I must confess, I have every intention of purchasing this little piece of cinematic spectacular-ness. It stars Hilary Swank (I like her because she has big teeth like me) and Scottish actor Gerard Butler. I'm not even going to say what it's about... only that if you have a pulse and a heart, you're going to absolutely love it.


-INSERT LAME VISUAL ANALOGY NOW-


Make sure your lap-bar is secured - you're going on an emotional roller coaster courtesy of P.S. I Love You!




Weeeeeee!

FAY

What happened was just this.
The wind began to switch - the house to pitch and suddenly the hinges started to unhitch.

No offense to meteorologists but you guys have no clue do you?

Yesterday by late evening, the Florida Keys had been removed from the direct hit of Fay.

This morning we are all up in it.

If you're getting hit by Fay and you know it click right here.





Song lyrics Copyright: Wizard of Oz

FIXED

Someone caught the mistake the Associated Press made on the article I had previously mentioned.

"The men's comments came at a two-hour forum on faith hosted by the minister Rick Warren at his megachurch in Orange County, Calif. Obama joined Warren for the first hour, and Obama for the second. The two candidates briefly shook hands and hugged each other during the switch. McCain said he did not see or hear Obama's session, which would have given him an advantage."

It now says: Obama joined Warren for the first hour, and McCain for the second.

It is pretty sad though that I could find the mistake before someone that is paid to do so.

CONGRATULATIONS!

One of my favorite people in the world, (like we're friends or something) Ellen DeGeneres and her girlfriend Portia De Rossi were married on Saturday at their home in Los Angeles.

There has been much controversy since the ban on gay marriage was lifted in California but I say....YOU GO GIRLS! No one has the right to say who we can or cannot love and who we can or cannot spend the rest of our lives with.

Even John McCain wished Ellen and Portia the best when he appeared on her show earlier this year. That is one of the only reasons why I can tolerate the old buzzard.

To read the article from People.com, click here.

AUNTIE M! AUNTIE M!

It's official. The Florida Keys are under a Tropical Storm watch. "Fay" is headed our way. They have ordered all tourists to evacuate which means total chaos. Everyone with a hangover is on the road fumble-farting their way out of town. It's just great!

You would think we are under attack. A state of emergency has been issued. National Guard is in place. Coast guard, EMS, local, state and Border Patrol officials ready and waiting.

I know it is all precautionary measures but it just sounds obnoxious.

So I will keep you updated and whip out the camera so I can take photos to share. If I should happen to lose the internet....well, that will be the real tragedy. Nothing more annoying than not having any contact with the outside world. No TV, cell phone (after the battery dies), computer etc...

To track the storm and wonder what's going on here at ground zero, click here

WHO WRITES THIS STUFF?

Obama and McCain appeared at a California mega church today for a two-hour faith forum.

An article written by the Associated Press was posted but whoever does the proofreading must have started happy hour a little early.

See if you can find the mistake.


Well, at least they played nice.

(If you can't find it leave a comment and I'll post it later.)

Picture courtesy of Associated Press

MOTHER NATURE SURE DOES BLOW

It's finally come. That time when our little corner of the country is in the "cone of uncertainty". That is such a load of crap. I realize that these storms basically have a mind of their own and to track them with complete and total accuracy is almost impossible. But to label a section of the country as being in some sort of area where they are uncertain of the fate of said section just causes panic.

Fay (the storms name) is suppose to arrive in South Florida on Monday or Tuesday. Whether it will be a hurricane by then has yet to be determined. All I know is that I will miss you all terribly if I have no internet. I've gotten quite accustomed to dumping my load on this blog everyday.

If you are also in this crap cone of uncertainty and have not yet prepared for the storm than click here for hurricane supply list. That list is put out by the National Hurricane Center so I assume it is what I should have.





3-day track courtesy of National Hurricane Center

PLEASE OH PLEASE

Could it be?

A bigfoot body allegedly has been discovered in Georgia.

I am a damn sucker for this kind of crap but I am hoping that it isn't a hoax. I love it when people, especially skeptics, are wrong. Who knows what the hell is out there lurking about? Not me? I'm sure there is undiscovered life on this planet and they have been avoiding our crazy asses for hundreds of years. I would. Just like I think there is intelligent life out there in the Universe. They are intelligent enough not to make contact with us.

If you want to see pictures and read more about it then put your big foot here.

I don't care what people think. I'm a believer that anything is possible.

(I also believe that Starbuck's puts heroin in their coffee to get us addicted but that's totally off subject.)

ONE OF "THOSE"

When I first found out I was pregnant I had extremely mixed feelings (Marie can confirm that). I wondered for nine long months how I could possibly make a decent mother seeing as how my entire life had been devoted to me, myself and I.

I had always met or seen mothers who just constantly brag about their children. How smart he/she is. How at 3 months they had recited the Declaration of Independence. How at one year they had saved a whole third world country from starvation. You know what I'm talking about.

I made up my mind early on (before I had her) that I would not be like that. Who in the world wants to hear every poopy diaper and every cute noise she would make?

FAST FORWARD

My daughter is a little over 13 months now (something else I said I wouldn't do. Tell her age in months) and I have become those women I never said I would. In my defense though, she is the most beautiful being ever to walk the earth and for her age, she is extremely advanced.

I am a stay at home mom so I see everything. Every new sound, every new face, every new discovery. EVERYTHING!

I find myself yearning for a few hours away and as soon as I get that I am telling anyone with a pulse all the cute, funny and new things that she is doing. I went to two functions the last two nights and I rode with people both times and I think by the end of both trips everyone had Reagan's (my daughter) poop, sleep and play schedule down. The only thing I didn't have to show off is a nanny cam that had a direct feed into my cell phone so I could show them her every move.

I guess it is inevitable that this sort of thing happens when you give birth to a future doctor, lawyer or President of the U.S.?

All I can say is that I love talking about Reagan. Who knew I had it in me to be the sort of person that could love something more than life itself?

And just because I'm feeling generous today:



That picture was taken courtesy of a photographer who gave us a shoot for free because Reagan is so G-damn cute!

(How could I not be a psycho about her when people encourage it?)

VISUAL DNA

From an email I got:

When you click on the link, a series of about 15 pictures will come up. Click on a photo in that category that appeals to you. Again 15 pictures will come up, click the one for you and move on. Just continue to keep picking. At the end it will give you a profile of yourself.... It's called a visual DNA.... Your choices dictate your profile.

When through reading bout yourself in one area of your "DNA", be sure to click on the tabs on the right page to go to other areas.

Http://DNA.imagini.net/friends


Here's mine:

STRIP THE BED

ALL ABOUT THE WASHINGTONS

First organization, now bargains...

My metamorphosis into "housewife" is almost complete. Bring on the pearls and apron, bitches!

CLICK ME

(Great article from WalletPop.com).

YOU LIE?

Okay...let me first start by saying that what I am about to write is in no way racist or demeaning to the Vietnamese population.

Watch This Then Come Back

So...all you women (or men) out there that have ever patronized a nail salon run by Vietnamese, most likely have had an experience similar to that.

Marie and I were in deep conversation a few nights ago, like we so often are, and we were trying to figure out how the whole Vietnamese nail salon craze got started. Like a good sleuth I went into CSI mode and did some research.

Here is what I found:

The rush of Asians in the beauty industry came about because of timing: Right when the Vietnamese immigration waves were coming in 1970s in the wake of the fall of Saigon, acrylic was born in 1979 to create a cheaper material for fake nails.

As a result, discount nail salons enabled Asian women to open their own businesses and provide a service at a much cheaper cost to customers of all income levels. These businesses bloomed especially in the cities with large Asian populations such as New York, Los Angeles, Houston and Dallas.

Basically, doing nails is the Vietnamese's niche in life. Like being a tool is John Edwards' niche in life.

So there, that's my story and I'm sticking to it. I've fully accepted the fact that they talk about me in their native tongue. It's cool, just don't screw up the nails and mọi việc đều ổn cả (that's Vietnamese for "everything's all right").

GET OVER IT!

Apparently some people on the West Coast are pissed off that NBC has the "live" icon in the corner of the television when the Olympics are being aired. If you want to read the story, click here.

They are live to the viewers in the Eastern and Central time zones.

Alright...here's my two cents.

BE EFFIN' GRATEFUL AMERICA!

Be grateful that we have the technology to bring the Olympics into your living rooms.

Be grateful that for two weeks the world can come together in one venue and be civil with each other.

Be grateful that this country can turn out athletes like Michael Phelps that make us look good.

I wonder what would happen if we could get our heads out of our asses long enough to realize all the great things we have and stop bitching about something as stupid as not being able to see the Olympics live.

Come on....

COOLER THAN TEDDY PENDERGRASS DRINKING A MILKSHAKE IN A SNOWSTORM

ATTENTION SHOPPERS!


Now, tell me if this doesn't completely blow your mind...

Click Me To Have Extra Dollah Bills in your Pocket




Note: Teddy Pendergrass is in no way associated with the aforementioned website. He appears on this blog courtesy of whatever major label he's with at the moment.

FABULOUS

I have been introduced yet again to another online addiction.

Online Scrapbooking!

Check it out and tell me you aren't obsessed within minutes.

MY MOM'S CELEBRITY CRUSHES

Sorry to exploit you, Mom... but your interest in Hollywood's old men makes a good blog topic.



Ed Harris.
(Too bad Ed has no HAIRris - ha ha).



Paul Newman in "Hud"



Paul McCartney (when the Beatles first became popular)

YOU-ESS-EH! YOU-ESS-EH!

WRONG WAY, PRES!

(Daughter Barb's face is priceless....)

I know, I know. He's human.

But it's still funny.

Source: Perez Hilton and Pacific Coast News

I MAY HAVE A PROBLEM?

I previously wrote how I have a completely platonic fascination with Matt Lauer. Upon further investigation (TV watching), I realized the obsession may extend beyond NBC.

1. William Peterson from CSI - He can process my DNA anytime.

2. Ben Bailey from Cash Cab - I love a man that can get me where I need to go while testing my intelligence.

3. Josh Gates from Destination Truth. Traveling the world looking to prove that there is something out there. Right up my alley.

4. Jason Hawes and Grant Wilson from Ghost Hunters. EVP's and EMF's? Let's "go dark" and hunt some Caspers fellas.

5. Ron White (comedian). I don't know. He's loud and vulgar and drinks like a fish. That must appeal to my former self.

That's just a few of the other completely random platonic crushes I have.

*My fascination with celebrity-types could also stem from a desire to escape reality on a daily basis by becoming infatuated with people who seemingly lead more exciting lives than I do at this particular moment.*

(I think that's a whole other blog?)

WORDS I REFUSE TO SAY BECAUSE I CAN'T

- Aurora

- Rural

- Regularly


I don't know why I can't say these words... all I know is I can't. So they are no longer in my vocabulary.

Are there any words that you can't pronounce easily?

PUH-LEASE

If you haven't seen the new back to school commercial for JCPenny than click here.

First off, I highly doubt that any of these pre-teens have ever even seen the movie "The Breakfast Club" seeing as how it was made in 1985. Secondly, if you are going to use the song "Don't You Forget About Me", use the original. It is an insult to the band Simple Minds to use some prepubescent, pimple-faced rock wannabees to advertise clothes that in no way resemble the style used in the movie.

Nice try Mr. J.C. Penny, but I give a FAIL on this. No one in your target audience even knows who Molly Ringwald is and the only way they might remember Emilio Estevez is from the Mighty Ducks.

OLYMPIC MEDAL COUNT

I'm not an obsessive Olympic watcher, but I do find myself getting sucked in to events such as swimming and gymnastics. I about had a heart malfunction last night when one of our little gymnasts didn't hit her landing on the uneven bars.

So...if you like the Olympics, but not enough to sit around all day, not showering and feeling bad about how you don't exercise, than here is a link so you can be up to date on the medal counts.

Click this, only after you've done a perfect dismount off of your couch.

KNOCK KNOCK

A little known fact about me is that I absolutely love animals. I've had pets that range from horses to skunks. I'm all for animal rights. I probably am more for animal rights than human rights in some cases.

That being said, yesterday I was sitting on the couch and I heard a scratching at the door. I thought it was the dog at first but realized she was sitting across the room. Perhaps it was a cat I thought, so I went to the door and peeked out the curtain and saw a tail. Looking a little closer, I saw a five-foot long Iguana trying to get in the house.

This thing looked like it was straight out of a movie. Beaten up, scratched up, obviously had been alive since the dinosaurs. I shrieked and startled the dog who came over and started barking hysterically. Mind you, the dog is a six pound Chihuahua who would have been lunch for the prehistoric reptile.

I love animals, but not enough to house this one. After realizing his obvious error in judgement, he ran off and up a tree. I grabbed the camera and here is a picture to share with you all:



This picture really doesn't do justice in capturing the size of this creature but it was BIG!

Amazingly enough this isn't the strangest thing that's happened to me living here. Just another day in the life of Aislyn on her three hour tour that's lasted over four years on this island.

WORTH MENTIONING

Did you know that at least 5,000 racehorses have met a dismal end since 2003? Neither did I until I came across an article in People Magazine. After these horses are retired or can no longer race due to injury, most are sent to slaughterhouses or are abandoned by their owners and left to die.

To the rescue:

Michael Blowen of Old Friends Equine and his wife quit their jobs in 2001 and moved to Kentucky to start a rescue for retired horses.

PLEASE go and check out this site and if you can make a donation.

These are true heroes!

Pictured above: Affirmed Success, he retired to Old Friends in October 2007. Photo by Ruth Ann van den Berg.

DIRTY ROTTEN SCOUNDREL

Why oh why is the famous line "I didn't love her"?

Click here to read

BABY STUFF & LAPTOPS

Aislyn, this is more for you than our readers... although I'm sure some of our readers have babies and a need for a new laptop.

The Gap has awesome baby clothes sales! Check 'em out here.

AOL did the sleuth work to find us some great laptop deals - especially for people whose laptops crap the bed on a daily basis. Click here!

HAPPY FRIDAY!

SAVE OUR NEIGHBOR!

This is horse pucky!

PBS has just announced they're cutting Mr.Rogers Neighborhood from their weekly line up.

Click here to learn what you can do to save this classic program!